Road trip! Monday night's edition of "The Bachelorette" begins with host Chris Harrison informing the guys that they're going to Bermuda, where they'll meet up with Emily and frolic on white sandy beaches, race sailboats and jump off cliffs.
First up is a one-on-one date with Doug, who gets a heavy dose of teasing from the dudes because he seems so freakin' nervous about it. Easy, buddy, Emily digs you.
"We have such a connection," she gushes to the camera. "It's like we've known each other for years."
They do some shopping around town and take a break to talk about being parents and jot a postcard to Doug's son (Emily's daughter, Ricki, has made the trip with her). They walk through something called the Moongate, where you're supposed to make a wish.
She: "I just wish I won't be single forever." Awwww.
At dinner that night, potential tension arises when Emily senses that Doug's responses are too "perfect." Is this guy for real? She wants honesty. So she asks him what his ex-girlfriends would say his flaws are. He comes up with two: 1) That he spends too much time with his son and, 2) That he doesn't wash their cars enough. (We'll add another: He talks too much about himself in the third person).
She's not buying it, but when Doug asks her to recite her flaws, all she can come up with is that she doesn't work out enough and sometimes wears pajamas in public (Yikes!). And so she realizes self-criticism can be "awkward." Theresult? "Just Doug" gets a rose. But we wonder if his tendency to take things slow ("I haven't kissed a girl in months.") will be an obstacle down the road.
Up next: The group date with Charlie, Ryan, Chris, Jef, Sean, Arie, Travis and Kalon getting split into teams for a good, ol' fashioned, sailboat race with plenty of manly trash-talking.
The team of Jef, Arie, Ryan and Kalon prevail and are rewarded with a smaller group date. Both Arie and Jef get some beach-blanket snuggle time (with Emily, not each other). Arie, however, wins the kissing sweepstakes, latching onto Emily's face like a crazed sea urchin during a fervent make-out session. (Take notes, Doug).
It's during the group date that our hatred for the pompous Ryan grows.
"I'm romantic and I'm athletic and I'm a really good catch," he says in total D-bag style.
In his one-on-one time with Lady Em, he lectures her about having an "amazing responsibility" as a reality TV leading lady seen by millions, and he basically scolds her for kissing Arie during last week's rose ceremony. Can you say "jerk"?
Surprisingly, Jef (not the sea urchin) gets the group-date rose and even he is shocked.
Next comes the dreaded (and very awkward) two-on-one date featuring John and Nate and only one will remain in the running for Em's heart. They take a boat to a small island, where they do some cliff-diving and guzzle champagne. Then, there's dinner in an eerily quiet cave. After some one-on-one chats, Emily says she likes the confidence and life experience John possesses and rewards him with the rose.
Meanwhile, back at the guys' house Ryan's arrogance is reaching a laughable level and we're starting to wonder if some of this may be an act for the cameras. He talks about what a great catch he is and how he may have a higher calling -- possibly as the next "Bachelor." Now the jerk has become a deluded jerk.
Then there's the budding rivalry between Doug and Chris, the latter of whom comes off as insecure and so very desperate. Dude needs to chill out.
The rose ceremony can't come soon enough. Two guys are sent packing and, sadly, Ryan isn't among them. Instead, it's Charlie and Michael bidding farewell, but not before they both shed tears in the rain.
Next week, it's on to London, where the previews show an angry Emily going off on someone. Is it wrong to totally hope her target is Ryan?
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